I'm really struggling
with myself lately and I cant really pin point what is wrong. I take the
whole thing really serious for a day or 2 and then I say "ah Fuck it"
and just eat what I want. I know the food optimising plan is brilliant
and it really does work so why am I not doing it to the best of my
ability? Take today for example, I woke up thinking no bread today and
no matter what I was sticking to plan. I got up out of bed, got the kids
sorted, out to school and put the kettle on. I was pottering about the
kitchen and everything seemed to bug me. I don't have that much
housework to do today, there are only 3 bowls, spoons and a knife to be
washed. The floor has to be hoovered and I suppose I could run the mop
over the bathroom floor. That's about all that needs doing. No doubt
others would say there is loads more to be done but hey, they can come
and do it for me :-)
My head feels heavy and I
just feel crap not in a physical illness kind of a way just a general
downer type of feeling. I suppose everyday things are on my mind like
bills and stuff but that shouldn't stop me from sticking to the eating
plan. I made coffee and when I went to the cupboard for the sweetener I
found a pack of biscuits and without thinking I ate 4 with butter on
them. There are none left now I suppose that's a plus, but what gets me
is that I can so easily just lift something and eat it with out even
thinking about it. Does that mean I don't want this weight loss? Am I as
serious about it as I think?
I really don't have the
answers to this yet but I will work on it today. I have a ham fillet
ready to boil and I plan on making rice and vegetables with it and I
wont eat anything else off plan. How can I get the answers to these
questions? How can I get these bad habits to go away? I will spend the
day trying to figure myself out. I'm sure the answers are in there
somewhere but right now I cant see whats going on. This has been going
on for years, I start off great and after a while I just don't care. I
know all the good things, the bad things and the not so bad things. I
have educated myself over the years on what should and shouldn't be
done. I know that you must exercise to keep the balance going and its
not even strenuous exercise either. You can do at least 15 minutes a day
of anything that gets your heart racing.
Time to get the
housework done and I suppose I could do that bit extra to keep me
occupied and away from the Kitchen. Have a nice day everyone and
hopefully it will pick up for us all. After spell checking and proof
reading this blog I feel a bit better already even the sun has broken
through the clouds to shine on me. They reckon staying positive is the
way to get through your life and I'm going to concentrate on that and
see how I get on.
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